a pumpkin's creed

every year i try to evaluate my personal growth. growth in terms of career, goal achievements, family closeness, friends, and my relationship with my first love. all in all, i think i did good in all aspects except for one: my relationship with my first love. i flunked it so bad that i feel everything i've acheived the past year were all in vain. i ignored this for the longest time.i know something is wrong, but i couldn't stop. i know we're drifting apart, but i couldn't manage to hold on. every promise i made...broken. every thoughts i have...lacks of him. i feel hurt every time someone mistreats him, but that made me realize how much he must've been hurt when i missed the chance to give him some of my "precious" time. i couldn't remember when was our last conversation or when was the last time i cried on his shoulder. i missed waking up at dawn to find him there ready to listen to my fears, my worries, my silliness. he has been my one true happiness, and yet im letting it slip away. one thing im so thankful about is that: he won't let me. he won't allow it. even though, i hurt him, he's always been there to see me, protect me, remind me when im going way overboard, and most of all, to love me. without him,i feel miserable. without his love, i am not capable of being loved or loving in return. he completes me. he gave me back my life. so, this year, i hope i make it up to him by putting him first in everything. i love you so much. if ever i forget, i know you'll remind me because even if i'd become a brute beast, you'll still hold my hand and remind me that i am yours... for that im thankful. im looking forward to this year ... i know whatever trials i have to go through, i could surpass it...only because im with you.